Frustrating Family? How to Cope During the Holidays
As hard as it may be to admit, we all have that one person in our family that we do not get along with or are frustrated with. With the holiday season approaching, it’s important to figure out how to interact with those difficult family members.
You may be asking, why is this happening? How can I get through events with them? What do I do? Luckily, this article is here to help answer those questions.
Being frustrated with family members can occur for multiple reasons, including differences in opinions and beliefs or as simple as just not getting along. Throughout this article, we will discuss how to cope so that you are setting yourself up for a successful holiday season for you and your family.
Create a Plan
It’s important to have a plan in place for both you and your partner and children before attending any holiday celebrations. This will help you not only manage your time wisely but also help you set boundaries for what you’re able and unable to do.
You can predetermine how long you’ll be visiting places to help prepare for how long you can potentially be around that difficult family member. Another positive to planning ahead is that you can also think of safe spaces you can go to, not being in the same area as them, and how to give yourself a break.
Manage Expectations
Before attending any events with a frustrating family member, try to think about who that person is and what they do frustrates you. Try to think about the best, worst, and typical experiences with them so you can prepare. It’s important to realize that you’re not thinking negatively about them. You’re just being a realist when it comes to that person.
By managing your expectations ahead of time, you will be able to manage any anxious feelings you may have. This will enable you to enter the situation calmly.
It will also be important to remember that you are unable to change those family members. Instead of being reactive, try to be observant of their behaviors. It’s easier said than done, but avoid letting their behavior bother you. Unfortunately, many family members are unable to realize what they are doing is wrong or problematic. While some may know what they’re doing is wrong, that’s not an excuse. And it’s important to not reward their bad behaviors in many cases when they’re acting out or frustrating others. They’re simply looking for someone to interact with.
Have Allies Within the Space
Chances are you and someone else in your family are feeling the same way about a frustrating family member. Try to find that person or those people who feel the same way as you and lean on each other. You can do this by taking time to talk about something else that you both enjoy. The key here is to avoid gossiping or being rude about the family member. Inevitably, they could hear you or someone else, which will lead to more issues.
Avoid Hot-Button Issues
Over the past five years, topics of politics, religion, and social issues have led to heated discussions at gatherings. If you’re the person hosting an event, make it clear and stand firm that those topics will not be discussed. It’s okay to also tell those speaking about these topics that you prefer not to talk about it and engage. This should not be considered rude. Instead, you must do what is best for you and your mental health.
If you continue to worry or struggle with difficult family members, anxiety therapy can help. Contact us today to see how we can help you navigate this holiday season.
